Want to lose 10 pounds in 30 days for just $35? Trust me, this is not a gimmick; it’s the honest to goodness truth. I did it. Over the holidays, I stumbled into a completely unexpected weight-loss program.


We were cruising through the Town Lake Animal Shelter with no intentions of getting a dog (yeah, right) and my daughter fell in love with a 45-pound blonde Sheppard/Beagle mix. When you’re 8 years old, you often get what you want. When your dad’s a complete pushover, you almost always get what you want. Combine the sad eyes of your daughter wanting to bring a dog home, along with the sad eyes of a pooch that’s been in the shelter for two months, and all sensibility goes out the window.

Lucky for me, it turned out that this dog was a stray and pregnant to boot. So, when we picked her up, we got the “big boobied” dog. The description on the little door to her cage was: “playful, loving, a great companion for a runner.” Hmmm, translation: “spastic, needy and you will never be able to wear this dog out!” We left that day with the Perro con Titas Grande! We were going to name her Anna Nicole or Pamela, but instead we decided on Roxy.

Needless to say, my wife was NOT happy about this spontaneous addition to the family. Let’s just say this dog was a real backyard, untrained spaz. Our first week was a living nightmare, yet I was on a mission to save this poor dog. I don’t think she’d ever been indoors and had certainly never seen a leash or collar. We hit a breaking point one day and approached our daughter about returning the dog. Not surprisingly, my daughter started to cry and shake like a pageant contestant. That was the end of that conversation.

I had to do something. Roxy and I started with long walks, which grew to a slow jog, then a 3-mile run, then 5 or 6 miles at a time. I am not a runner, nor did I plan to become one in 2010. I realized that after about 6 miles, she would quit trying to chase every squirrel in sight and fight with every dog on the block. Best of all, this was the point where she quit dragging me across the pavement. It actually became civilized and enjoyable. So we ran. And we kept running. Then we ran some more. In general, after about mile 5, Roxy settles down and I really enjoy the running. We bond, we get to see A LOT of Austin and we just…run.

Now, no lie, we’re knocking out 10- to 12-mile runs a few times a week. She gets worn out and has grown to be a wonderful addition to our family. My excessive waist is gone and her chest is…well…no longer attracting unwanted attention. At home, mama’s happy, my daughter’s happy and the dog’s happy. If they’re all happy, I guess I’m less grumpy than normal.
Oh, and the $35 was the adoption fee at Town Lake Animal Shelter. Please consider adopting a dog. The adopt-a-dog exercise program works. I’m looking into running a marathon in December.

For more information about how to adopt your very own Roxy, visit ci.austin.tx.us/health/animal_services.htm.