Have you ever had one of those moments where your wife simply puts you in your place? I won’t go into the gory details of our debate but she recently said to me, “All of my black shoes are no different than all of your bikes. What could you possibly need all those for?” I stopped and thought, “Duhhhhhh,” because that’s typically what goes through a man’s head.


You’ll have to corner my wife sometime for an explanation on the functions of each and every black shoe she owns. For those of you married to a bike-obsessed person, I’ll do my best to explain the importance of each bike in my arsenal.

Road Bike
This one is “numero uno” and used for my training and bike racing. I’ve never won a race, but shamefully admit I want to look podium-ready, just in case.

Back-up Road Bike
This is my previous #1 road bike that I keep in case I crash. I don’t want any down-time to keep me from riding. It’s also nice to have a loaner bike, in case a friend needs one while visiting.

Back-up to My Back-up Road Bike
This is a loaner for someone I’m not all that fond of, who undoubtedly will ask.

Time Trial Bike
This is an aspect of cycling you often see in the Tour De France, when the pros race against the clock, alone, all aero, with the funny helmets. Trust me, I need one of these bikes…because I race an average of ONE tour-style stage race a year. Yes, I do have the funny helmet and the bike averages about 20 miles a year.

Mountain Bike
In Austin, a mountain bike is a must-have because of all the peaks you see off in the distance. I’m kidding. It’s essential because mountain biking is pretty macho. I ride this about twice a year and get injured both times.

Fixie
This is a retro aspect of cycling where the bike only has one gear, you can’t stop pedaling unless you stop with your legs and of course there are no brakes. Sounds like a smart idea, huh? This is what you see all the ultra cool bike messengers riding downtown. I’m not ultra cool, but I pretend from time to time.

Cheap Fixie
Same as above, it’s just the one you don’t mind locking up while you go into a bar. Or leaving overnight because you had too much to drink.

Fireman’s Cruiser
This is a locally-made bike that’s akin to an adult BMX bike. Fireman’s 4 beer is named after it, which explains why I had to have one.

Chopper
This is purely a novelty bike I’ll pull out of storage when I want to look like an ultra cool Austinite. Again, I’m a complete poser.

Commuter
This is a road bike with fatter tires, loaded with front and rear lights. I ride this to work once a year when our “green” CEO visits.

Okay, so I have 10 bikes, not counting the new road bike that’s on order. My current road bike will become the new back-up, my backup will become back-up to the back-up and my back-up to the back-up will become the “bike that’s listed on Craigslist, but is so overpriced it never sells.”
Sometimes I think of buying a turn-of-the-century High Wheeler just to see the look on my wife’s face.
So, what’s the lesson in all of this? Never feel bad about spending money on your fitness. Get out and ride your bike and leave your wife alone when it comes to all those shoes.